Recently I’ve been thinking a lot about my . . . future: potential, actual, and fantastical. Last night I sat down and wrote this short creative piece; it does, to an extent, represent some thoughts that are currently ricocheting, colliding, exploding around my mind.
Knowing that you’re meant to be something special in this life is a daunting predicament in which to be. Knowing that you’re meant to do something special in this life is even scarier. Knowing that you’ll be for all intents and purposes ignorant of your successes or failures in achieving either or both (or neither) presupposed goals for your life until the mere moments prior to your escape from this present mortal coil is simultaneously shocking and depressing, and therefore a down-right head-fuck.
If indeed we are each supposed to prove ourselves, uniquely and independently, as superior candidates for God’s right hand footstool, over anyone and everyone else on this planet, what is to say that there can’t be a known metric for measuring such deeds and perceptions of amazing magnitude? Why can’t we know where each of us stands in comparison to each other at any given time in our individual lives, so as to better accomplish otherwise unknown, unpredicted, and unpredicated acts to better raise our own personal standard before God’s eyes? With a field of over seven billion rivals, getting a leg up, even if everyone gets the same leg, would be a great push towards success, individually or collectively. Because, after all, the up a leg might give to me is in no way dependent on the up that same leg might give to you – the tasks might need not be equal at any time, but rather equitable: what is special to me and mine (and therefore to God as I see God and God sees me) is unique to my own micro-metric, whereas what is special to you and yours (and therefore to God as you see God and God sees you) is unique to your own micro-metric.
The macro-metric at hand is relevant only to how special my accomplishments are to me in comparison to how special your accomplishments are to you – and not any combination thereof.
In a world of equality, instead of equity, you and I would be required to accomplish the same task, regardless of competency and interest of any and all parties involved. If I am destined to be a great leader but you only to be a pauper, what challenge is it to me to teach myself how to shine shoes for barely enough money to survive a day? And how would you ever be able to achieve a great peace betwixt two historically rival nation-states as such an indigent? Rather, accomplishing such a Pax Gaia is a goal and achievement uniquely my own (in this scenario) because it might very well be something for which I work my entire life, sacrifice greatly (on my own terms), and feel the freedom of God’s bondage when the peace is indeed cemented in history and memory.
In like veins, as a crippled derelict as you are, learning how to properly shine shoes and do such a job as to warrant being paid no less than a day’s wage is a magnificent achievement on your part and is nothing to take lightly. I have no need to know how to shine shoes, not for practical nor theoretical purposes, and nor do you need to be able to comprehend the intricacies of diplomacy, corruption, and future-watching. Therefore, if each of us were to succeed in our tasks, we would be achieving great things for our own individual lives, and would be welcomed into the next world with open arms by our community and leaders, thereby reassuring our past selves of their successes in the predicaments set forth for us by society, culture, and heritage.
However, if I, as the potentially great ruler, were unable to achieve the peace for which I so yearned – regardless if even a mere cease-fire was established, but no absolute and long-lasting peace – I would not be so successful in my special goals, in retrospect (although it can be surmised that the lack of success in this arena would be more immediately recognized than the absolute success would be). And, likewise, if your shoe shining results in sub-par shines and you do not succeed in accruing the day’s wages required to live as a comfortable vagrant, you lack in success just the same as I do.
What a predicament.